The Talking Centipede

A man goes into a pet shop and asks the shopkeeper for a new pet.

“I don’t want a cat or a dog I want something different!” Specifies the man.

The shopkeeper informs him that they have some talking centipedes for £50.

Happy with that the man buys his new pet and carefully takes it home in a matchbox.

When he gets home he carefully opens the matchbox, looks down at the centipede and says:

“Hello, Mr centipede do you fancy going down the pub for a drink?”

The centipede says nothing. Assuming it must be tired from the trip from the pet shop he thinks “I’ll give it half an hour then ask it again”.

30 Mins later he again goes to the centipede and says “hello Mr centipede do you fancy going down the pub for a drink?”

Again the centipede says nothing. The man thinks to himself “ok I will give it another 30 mins and if it doesn’t talk to me then I’m taking it back!”

30 Mins later the man goes to the centipede and says “hello Mr centipede do you fancy going down the pub for a drink?”

The Centipede replied “I heard you the first blooming time! I’m putting my shoes on!”

 

Joke submitted by Holly McHugh