Phillip Hammond Suicide
A man was coming home from work one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt.
He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked him what was wrong. The cop said, “We are in a crisis situation. Phillip Hammond is in the road very upset. He does not have the £10 billion needed to fill his black hole, and everyone hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in petrol and start a fire.”
The man asked the police officer exactly what he was doing there.
The bobby said, ” I feel sorry for the Chancellor so I am going car to car asking for donations.”
The man asked, “How much do you have so far?”
The bobby replied, “Well as of right now only 99 litres, but many people are still syphoning as we speak!”